Luke and I were married on August 17, 1991. A year and a half later, we wanted to start a family. When I wasn’t pregnant after two years, we went for testing. I found out that one of my fallopian tubes was clogged and my pituitary gland wasn’t in sync with my ovulation pattern. The only treatment that would help me become a mom was to take a medication called Clomid.

In December 1994, I became ill with a stomach virus and cold. Too sick to take Clomid, I felt devastated to have to wait another month. In my mind, I wanted to have my children in my 20’s so they would be close in age with their cousins and for me to be strong and active with them. 

In January of 1995, I took Clomid and by the end of the month, I was pregnant and ecstatic. My family was overjoyed as well because they knew how long we had been trying.

During my pregnancy, I started getting dizzy spells. At the end of the first trimester, I woke up in the middle of the night with a horrible stomach ache. I tried to make it back to my bed but the next thing I knew, my dog Brutus stood over me whining. We rushed to the hospital to make sure my baby was alright.

Fainting became a regular part of my pregnancy.

In September at eight months pregnant, I ended up on partial bedrest because my baby’s growth dropped. Growing a baby was hard work and my body was determined to give me trouble. Yet I did everything I needed to do to make sure my little boy was healthy.

Yes, we were having a boy. I couldn’t wait to see how my child would change the world.

On Friday, October 6, I had a lot of cramps and called Pam, my midwife. She wanted me to wait for my doctor’s appointment the next day. At 10:00am as I was getting into the shower, my water broke. A stress test showed that my baby boy was fine. 

By 9:00pm, I called Pam again. Wait. I called at midnight. Wait. I felt that my contractions were strong and I was a nervous new mom-to-be. 

So on October 7, Luke drove me to the hospital in the middle of the night. I was ready. My baby was not. 

We walked all night long.

By 11:00am, I was still only three centimeters. My baby decided to crawl like a turtle with the back of his head along my spine giving me severe back labor. I sat in the shower and let hot water pound on my back. When I wasn’t progressing enough, Pam suggested Pitocin, which is a labor enhancer.

It took three years to get to this point and the desire was to deliver a healthy baby.

Exhausted, I took the Pitocin. After two hours, Nicholas Luke shot out into the world on Saturday, October 7 at 1:06pm at 6 lbs. 12oz. and 20” long.

Born at last.

When Pam placed him on my stomach. he screamed and kicked like mad. Luke cut the umbilical cord separating the protective connection of mother to child.

That night, my siblings, parents, and Nick’s little cousins all came to see him. There was such joy meeting this little miracle who took forever to come and then launched out like a shooting star.

He was my vibrant, precious boy.

It's hard to explain the feeling of giving birth. For nine months I dreamt about this child—how he would be, what he would look like, and whether I could take the pain. Then all of a sudden there he was crying in my arms. His head was elongated on the left. He had beautiful black hair. His nose was squashed to the right and his ears were flattened against his head.

He was gorgeous.

Nicholas made me a mother that day. Today he would have been 28 years old. No matter where my children are, they are always part of my heart and soul.

Happy Birth Day, Nick. I love you with all my heart