When I became pregnant with my first son, I wanted to write their life stories. Yes, they were based on my perspective but a version nonetheless that could be filled in and thickened if they so wished.

I started with words in a journal including dates, events, details, chronicling my first son's entry into this world. Then two years later as my second son was born I addressed the journal to ‘My Boys.’ They were always my audience.

For a few years, I shifted to scrapbook mode. Decorative paper, photos, stamping, thickened their story. My words were sprinkled through as were notes from family members on their birthdays and teachers for school milestones.

I wrote to my boys in first person writing the facts, adding in sensory details. Providing their thoughts as they sometimes told me or how I received them. I added my thoughts and threads of love. I eventually shifted back to writing only in a good quality journal with an archival pen so these words would last.

Most days I addressed my younger son since he's the keeper of the journals and is physically here to read them. I write to Nick on those milestone days, holidays or if I feel called to connect to my spirit son.

These journals are a retelling of our lives. The fun we had. The wonderful family moments. They also hold the struggles of losing a child, who was also a son, brother, cousin, nephew, Godson, grandchild, and friend.

The vast majority of them haven’t been read. My family has looked through the scrapbooks, which are a soothing balm.

There are gaps in their story. Life got too busy. 

I have thousands of photos without a home organization. I'll get to them someday.

The constant is writing to my children.

I write about my son's day, his relationship, friends, and work. I describe our activities together, which change with the seasons. 

Summer barbecues, motorcycle rides, pool parties, and summer nights at the fire pit. Fall through spring watching our Manchester United team play football. Family dinners and gatherings. I'll share about the family, his grandma, and cousins. Stories of deceased family members are sprinkled in.

I'll write about world events when something monumental happens that could reshape his future. Like President Biden dropping out of the 2024 presidential race.

These journals are my legacy of love to my boys.

I have learned a lot about myself reading through them. I have seen my ups and downs of parenthood. If only I had a glimpse into a journal of my future to know how my actions and words would land. But that's part of life and any story holds the perspective of the narrator.

When it comes to keeping a family journal, I hear a lot of regret from people in my workshops. They wished they had recorded stories.

I tell them as I tell you right now.

It's never too late.

Begin where you are.

Here's a guide to getting started:

• Who are you writing to/for?

  • Who is your audience?

• What point of view will you write in? First second or third?

  • 1st person: may be telling your story introspectively for your family and not addressed to anyone in particular. For example I was born on...

  • 1st and 2nd persons: can be conversational and very present. For example: Dear so and so, today we talked about your job. I am so excited about your promotion!

  • 2nd person: you were born on … and were the first child of …. You are loved and are such a funny child.

  • 3rd person:  More of an overseer narrator. For example: Our family began on March 21st, 1992. George and Betty were married at Saint Paul's church. They met two years earlier. 

• How will you record your story?         

  • In a physical journal writing words?

    • Recommend not writing in cursive as younger generations no longer learn that.

  • Scrapbook which includes words, photos, newspaper clippings, concert tickets, paper memorabilia.

  • Word document typing words, insert photos, and add links

  • Google Drive where you can upload word documents, photos (including descriptions) 

  • Family website with photos, stories, possibly links

This is a good place to start. Next week, I’ll focus on organizing that family legacy and prompts to get you writing. 

Let me know your thoughts and if you have questions!