Processing Emotions

Key techniques of journaling for healing and transformation are Self-Awareness and Processing Emotions.  If I’m not sure how I’m feeling, how I react to certain situations, what I think about how I spend my time, etc, then journaling for this particular reason isn’t going to be helpful. Becoming Self-Aware is the first step to creating change and understanding who you are and what you desire to bring into your life. 

In order to be Self-Aware in your journal, you need to be honest. My journal is the Pause Place where I can be my most vulnerable self, write out what upsets, disappoints, scares and excites me. If I can’t be honest about how I feel about myself or others then this level of Self-Awareness is false. 

Every morning I check in to see how I’m feeling and what I’m excited about in my day. Sometimes those feelings can be heavy and I’m not sure where they stem from. So I often dig deeper to get to the root of the emotion. 

Several decades ago, Michele McDonald developed the RAIN method as a tool for practicing mindfulness when overwhelmed by thoughts and emotions. There’s also a Buddhist inspired RAIN technique by Tara Brach. Using it as a journaling tool, it’s helpful to allow me the practice to pause before I react and also to shift my emotions. 

These techniques are impactful but sometimes I wanted to go deeper. I added a couple steps that have worked well for me and others who I’ve taught.

Here is a quick print out if you’d like to have it in your journal:

RAINARR Process Expanded:

Here’s a fictional example of the process:

Recognize: Frustration

Acknowledge: Take the time to sit with your journal and write your emotion: 

“Right now I’m feeling frustrated.”

Investigate: Why am I feeling this way? 

I tried to talk to my friend about something she did that bothered me. When I did, she took it very personally and instead of talking it through, told me all the ways I have annoyed her in the past month. I had no idea and couldn’t get a word in to even ask her for more details. She wasn’t interested in talking it out so I left. My frustration comes from the fact that I thought we had the type of relationship where I could say how I felt. This emotion feels dark like a heavy cannonball in my gut. 

Nurture: I need to get rid of this heaviness so I’m going for a walk in the warm sunshine. 

Action: After my walk, I need to pause and consider if what she said to me has validity. If I’m complicit in what she said.  I’m going to write her a letter so I can be clear on what I felt and why. 

Reach Out: Then I’m going to reach out to my best friend and get some tea. Just sent a text and we’re meeting tomorrow. 

Record: The letter wasn’t received well and I read a text from this person that wasn’t kind. It’s clear our relationship is not what I thought and I probably won’t connect with her anymore. I feel saddened but also relieved because this relationship has been toxic and I didn’t realize it until I took the time to sift through. 

Hopefully this example gives you an idea of the process. This can be a quick thought process but taking the time to pause and write through the steps can open your eyes not only on any action or nurturing you need but also any role you may have played in the situation. 

Sitting with our emotions, especially those heavier ones, is hard. Having a technique and safe space to be curious is what RAINARR is all about. It also improves self-awareness and grows self-nurturing and a loving support system. 

When it RAINs, what ARR you going to do?

Let me know your thoughts and if this helps!