Nick was a charmer from the moment he was born. His Hollywood eyes surrounded by luscious eyelashes would easily get him out of trouble. He had just taken a bath in this photo and was teething. Even as he was ready for bed, he couldn’t waste an opportunity to shine for the camera. Whenever I wanted to take a picture, Nick would turn to the camera and grin. (I wonder where he got that from?)

This is a post from my journal to Nick on April 9, 1996.

*At Nanny’s house, Aunt Steph kept tickling you in your lower back and you were giggling. You reached out to her and hugged her. Everyone loves you. Everyone compliments your eyes—how big they are and your gorgeous long eyelashes. You definitely love people and you have a pure, inner beauty.

What I love best is how you look at everything in such detail. You are so alert and you concentrate on the smallest aspect of an object.*

Going back to bask in the memories of Nick, I realize that none of that changed. He still is loved so deeply and will always be remembered for his beautiful spirit.

I don’t wonder what Nick would have been doing had he lived. I see how his spirit lives among us. I see generous people give during these difficult times because they know that a child is struggling from something so much worse. I see the understanding that making a difference in any way, whether it’s a donation, a phone call to connect, a card to remind someone they are loved, or volunteering to ease someone’s day is the embodiment of what Nick believed. It was how he lived his life.

He wasn’t perfect. There are stories I could share that made me wonder what my child had been thinking. He had an impulsive side to him that got him into all kinds of trouble. But those eyes of his tell us that he was goodness all wrapped up in a onesie.